FoMO: (our) Fear of Missing Out
In today’s digital age, we’re surrounded by ready-to-consume non-stop information via smartphones, social media, and online news. In this world emerged the fear of missing out or FoMO, that feeling we’ve all experienced – the uneasiness that something better is happening somewhere else, and the relentless pull to keep checking our devices as if life’s greatest moments are unfolding online.
FoMO is defined as …‘‘the uneasy and sometimes all-consuming feeling that you’re missing out – that your peers are doing, in the know about, or in possession of more or something better than you. Under this framing of FoMO, nearly three-quarters of young adults reported they experienced the phenomenon.”
The average person in 2023 is spending around 151 minutes per day engaged in social networking. That’s 2.5 hours and to me, it’s a lot! A recent study reveals that FoMO is becoming increasingly common. We can’t resist the temptation to continually refresh our social media feeds, anxious that we might miss out on something exciting or important. But what’s really going on behind this modern phenomenon?
The Hidden Emotions
Well, it turns out that FoMO is more than just a simple worry. It’s deeply rooted in our fear of regret. We’re worried about the experiences we might miss, the connections we could make, and the chances we might overlook. This constant quest for the next big thing can be quite addictive, keeping us stuck in the cycle of FoMO.
At the heart of FoMO lies a more profound emotional struggle. We often feel inadequate and have a fear of not measuring up. This endless comparison with others, especially on social media, can make us feel insecure, anxious, and sometimes even downhearted. We keep chasing happiness, thinking it’s just around the corner, yet it seems to slip further away as we keep hunting for it online.
FoMO is more serious than we think
Research highlights that individuals with lower levels of satisfaction in fundamental needs like competence, autonomy, and relatedness are more prone to FOMO. Similarly, those with lower general mood and life satisfaction tend to experience higher levels of FOMO. When we’re feeling down or lonely, the easy fix is to open Facebook or Instagram, but this escape merely provides a temporary respite from our genuine emotional state. Social media doesn’t offer a lasting solution; it merely showcases carefully selected moments from others’ lives, leaving us prone to the damaging habit of comparison, which can be a direct path to depression
The below quote points out an extension of this problem. Swarthmore professor Barry Schwartz writes in his book, The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less: “Stop paying so much attention to how others around you are doing.” This is easy advice to give, but hard to follow, because the evidence of how others are doing is pervasive, because most of us seem to care a great deal about status, and finally because access to some of the most important things in life (for example, the best colleges, the best jobs, the best houses in the best neighborhoods) is granted only to those who do better than their peers. Nonetheless, social comparison seems sufficiently destructive to our sense of well-being that it is worthwhile to remind ourselves to do it less.”
Status has always held a significant place in our lives, and today, it’s more prominent than ever before. Unlike in the past, we’re no longer restricted to assessing who’s doing well or who’s considered “cool” based solely on real-time events or local communities. Instead, the digital realm, including social media, has become the stage for showcasing our status and obtaining the validation we desire.
In this digital age, our quest for status often involves attending what we consider to be “important” events and associating with what we perceive as the “in” crowd. We hope that by engaging in these activities, we can secure the status we covet. Paradoxically, this pursuit leads us to curate and post carefully selected snippets of our lives, which, in turn, may induce feelings of envy in others. In doing so, we unwittingly become contributors to the cycle of FOMO.
So, what can we do to break free from the grip of FoMO and find contentment in the present moment? Let’s explore some simple strategies:
1. Regain Control Over Technology
Our relationship with technology should enhance our lives, not trigger damaging behaviors. It’s crucial to develop a healthier connection with our devices. Set boundaries, turn off notifications, and be mindful of your screen time. By regaining control over technology, we can focus on what truly matters.
2. Live in the Now
Remember the old sayings like “Carpe Diem” and “Live in the moment”? They hold timeless wisdom. To combat FOMO, learn to appreciate the present. Take time to notice the world around you, engage in real-life conversations, and immerse yourself in the joy of the now. You’ll be amazed at the energy and happiness this simple shift can bring.
3. Cultivate Gratitude
Being present in the moment allows us to appreciate what we have. Gratitude is a powerful tool for happiness. Consider keeping a gratitude journal where you jot down things, people, or experiences you’re grateful for each day. Reflect on these moments, and you’ll find yourself in a more positive and content frame of mind.
Science does say gratitude is the king of happiness “…the more a person is inclined to gratitude, the less likely he or she is to be depressed, anxious, lonely, envious, or neurotic.”
In conclusion, FoMO is an increasingly common challenge in our digital age. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of constant online updates, but it doesn’t lead to the happiness we seek. By recognizing the deeper emotions behind FoMO and adopting these simple strategies, we can break free from its grasp and truly savor the present moment. In doing so, we can find genuine contentment and lasting happiness.
